Thursday, 18 February 2010

when are women to blame for being raped?

Feminazery asked this question. here was her list of times:

1.

See? Nothing there! there is no time when a woman is responsible for being raped. when a woman is raped it is entirely simply and utterly the fault of the rapist. full stop, no question. the rape victim is never to blame for her rape.

the sooner we get this into our collective cultural brains the better.

i will write about this more fully soon.

4 comments:

huw said...

Would you consider changing 'women' to 'anybody'? and 'woman' to 'someone'?

sianandcrookedrib said...

no because the survey that i am talking about was specifically about whether women were responsible for being raped. that's why i was talking about women victims or rape. if the survey was talking about whether male and female victims were responsible for their rapes then of course i would change it - no probs. however when a man is raped as a society we tend not to see him as to blame. there are of course manifest problems in the way we talk about and think about male rape (for example, joking about it in the prison context which is so fucked up!) but in terms of blame, i don't believe we see male rape victims as responsible for the crime in the same way we see female victims. for example, we don't say 'well he was wearing tight jeans' or 'well he was really drunk' or 'well, it wasn't "violent rape"' when we talk about a victim of male rape.

hope that explains why i am therefor talking about women in this instance.

you might be interested in reading m post on the blokeosphere where i discuss why it is ok to talk about violence against women and focus on women victims.

thanks for the comment!

JenniferRuth said...

Victim blaming has always confused me.

Women go out and get drunk all the time. They wear short skirts, they hang out with strangers in dark places like nightclubs, they let people buy them drinks and they sleep with men. Sometimes, after they sleep with these men they end up dating them. And sometimes that dating leads to a serious relationship. Maybe they'll get married and everyone will congratulate them and be so pleased that they met one another and found love. It is pretty much accepted by most people that getting drunk and having sex is a normal thing that people engage in and that it can sometimes lead to love.

Oh, but what if you invite a man into your bed and instead of leading to dating or marriage (or even never seeing one another again) it ends up with him raping you? Everything is different now! Now it's YOUR fault something terrible happened! It's not like people are out there having sex all the time! No, you should be chaste and good and wait and never, never talk to a man you don't know. And if it is a man you do know, then what did you expect, leading him on like that? Look at what you were wearing!

All these behaviours (drinking, dating, wearing clothes) are perfectly acceptable and normal. Unless you get raped. In that case it's totally your fault for acting that way.

I will never understand victim blaming. It's like people have this mental switch and their values turn topsy-turvy as soon as rape occurs. I think it's just because they don't want to think it can happen to them.

sianandcrookedrib said...

jennifer ruth i completely agree! and also, if you do marry or have a relationship with someone, and then they rape you, you are still somehow to blame. even though you wouldn't not get into the same bed as your partner. victim blaming is horrifying.